Blushing Bride

February 13, 2012 § Leave a comment

In true Lindsey form. Always a lady.  Valentines Day happens to be my wedding anniversary.  In this post I am going to list some gift ideas for your loved on Valentines Day.

  • A date.  One where a sitter is called and it’s just the two of you. Even if you are low on cash it doesn’t need to be a fancy restaurant.  The fact that you get a quick break from the kids and get to be a couple instead of a pair of referees is priceless.
  • Jewelery.  We love getting pretty shiny things.  I love Catbird  for all of my jewelery needs and desires.  In God We Trust has these great heart shape pendants that you can have engraved in script.  Definitely one of my favorite gift ideas.
  • Chocolate.  You can never lose with chocolate.  Splurge on the good stuff.  My favorite is Mariebelle.
  • Flowers.  Roses. Nuff said. Can’t really mess up flowers unless you buy those ugly carnations that are dyed hot pink and blue.
  • Pretty panties.  Please make sure you get the right size.  There’s nothing worse than trying to put on a pair of beautiful underwear only to hear them rip.  Not so good for the old ego either.
  • Last but certainly not least.  Make something.  A painting, a poem, a song, a jewelry box (my favorite gift my husband gave me), or a home cooked meal.  Just show them that you care.  Put a little effort in to it.  It matters.   I buy into all this Valentines Day hype because I think in our fast paced lives it’s nice to have a day dedicated to showing your love to your partner. XOXO

10 things NOT to say to an expectant mother.

February 13, 2012 § 2 Comments

I have had three pregnancies and got two sets of twins out of the deal.  Each time during my pregnancies I had people say the rudest things to me.  It blows my mind how some people lack a censor button.  While pregnant my hormones were running rampant and the seemingly nice old lady at the grocery store looking at my massive belly in horror and saying “good luck” with a sarcastic eye roll did not brighten my day.  In fact I wanted to hit her full force with my massive belly and knock her down.  But to protect my angels in utero I didn’t.  These are my top ten things NOT to say to a pregnant woman.

  1. “Wow you must be due any minute!” -actually lady I’m only in my sixth month and I’m not nearly as big as your fat ass.
  2. “How many are you having?” -okay so I was pregnant with twins when the cashier asked me this but she didn’t know for sure.
  3. “EWWWW!!!!” -a woman on the Upper East Side at a cafe was seated next to me and struck up a conversation.  When I told her I was having twins she responded by shouting “EWWWW.” Okay.  I was left speechless and promptly left without finishing my sandwich.
  4. “Good Luck” -as I listed before this was followed by an eye roll.  I actually am pretty f’in lucky.  I don’t need you words of encouragement. Thanks anyway.
  5. “You’re HUGE” -this was said by a friend’s husband who thought he was being charming.  Sorry buddy but ladies don’t like to be called HUGE . Not ever.  Even while pregnant.
  6. “You’re going to have your hands full.” -you really have no idea.  I didn’t even bother telling strangers that I was pregnant with my second set of twins.  I would have had to pick their chins up off the floor.
  7. “Your husband must have super sperm” -listen I have just as much to do with this whole baby making as he did.  Stop giving him all the credit.  And why are you talking about his sperm?
  8. “Are they natural?” -this comment is twin specific but if I had a dime every time I heard this I’d be a damn millionaire. Yes they are.  But aren’t all babies “natural”.  I don’t think a woman who uses fertility assistance is having an unnatural alien baby.  Shit the end result is the same.  A mother to twins.  We should get medals.
  9. “Was it planned?” -none of your damn business.  Really why would someone ask this question?
  10. “Are you done now?” -another question I wish my friends, family, and strangers would stop asking.  I’m not rich but I support my kids without any assitance from anyone.  My husband and I will decide when we are done and we won’t be making an official announcement.


February 9, 2012 § 2 Comments

I got this catalog in the mail today and started freaking out.  I went from getting JCrew and Urban Outfitters catalogs to hideous, ugly as sin “mom” apparel catalogs.  I know that I don’t always put much effort in my looks these days but someone please shoot me if my underwear covers my belly button and/or my jeans have an elastic waist band. Why did I receive this in the mail?  What is the universe trying to tell me?  Since having my second set of twins I have officially retired my high heels for moccasins.  My husband is devastated.  I also wear my hair in a “mom” bun at the top of my head.  I do it even more so now with all of my post partum hair loss from nursing these twins.  I vow to have beautiful locks once my hair stops falling out in fist fulls.  Real hot eh?  I really started thinking about the days that I had time to put some effort in the way I looked.  Is this why mom’s just give up and start wearing moo-moos or house dresses with slippers?  I also vow to not wear stretch pants everyday.  That’s a tough one.  Being from NJ and all.  My “mom” bun, moccasins, and stretch pants have become somewhat of a uniform.  So during my rant about this catalog I realize that the address on the catalog is not mine and I have received it in error.  But maybe, just maybe, I prevented “Susan” from ordering “mom” gear.  Maybe she has just been saved from buying another pair of comfort-waist jeans in denim, twill with a mock fly. Holy hell.  There is no excuse to completely give up on your looks just because you are a mom.  I will try to put some effort back into my looks.  Thank you universe for sending me this message before it’s too late.

I have a lot of kids!

February 8, 2012 § 4 Comments

Pregnant Ladies, Are you happy with your care provider?

February 7, 2012 § Leave a comment

The answer to this question dictates the experience you will have during the pregnancy and delivery of your baby.  I have had the luxury of working with amazing midwives and obstetricians as my work as a birth doula and as an expecting mother. Having supportive and empathetic care providers is very important.  Does your midwife or OB respect your desires? Do they respect your birth plan?  If they don’t switch to a care provider that does.  I am lucky that I work in NYC and we have some of the best OB’s and midwives in the world.  We have some options here.  Not as many as one would hope but much better than most places.  When pregnant with my first set of twins I did research to find a care provider that was pro vaginal delivery with twins.  I have encountered many OB’s that perform a c-section for multiples regardless of the woman’s history.  That was an eye-opening experience. I was lucky to find an OB that was willing to deliver my twins as long as baby A was vertex.  She was also comfortable with a breech extraction with baby B if she ended up breech.  She was luckily vertex and I got to have a successful vaginal delivery with my twins.  My amazing midwife supported my desire for a homebirth with my second set of twins. I received dual care from my midwife and an obstetrician for the entire pregnancy. Choosing a midwife that was empathetic to my desire for a natural twin birth was monumental in my ability to have a beautiful and safe homebirth. Certain hospitals and practices are not very supportive of unmedicated childbirth and doulas. You should know if your OB or midwife is supportive of you hiring a doula before you hire one.  If they are unsupportive then it’s probably not a good match.  I recall a doula client that I had receiving a very unnecessary episiotomy from a very old school doctor.  She had doubts about his beliefs on birthing but didn’t want to switch in her third trimester of pregnancy.  She regretted this decision after her negative birthing experience.  Recently a friend had a very necessary c-section and had a wonderful birthing experience.  This was because of her amazing obstetrician that made her feel comfortable and at ease through the entire process.  It meant the world to her.  When woman have birth plans that change for whatever reason the way they are received by their birthing team is so important.  Sometimes a mother can feel disappointed in the path her birth has taken and needs gentle reassurance.  Living in NYC you often encounter a practice of OB’s and or Midwives so you don’t know who will be delivering your baby.  The important thing is to be on the same page as their practice as a whole.  What are their c-section rates?  Transfer rate for homebirthers?  Can you have intermittent fetal monitoring or a hand-held doppler?  What is their protocol if there is a PROM?  ETC…Knowledge is power.  Make sure you are on the same page as your care provider.  Ask questions.  Happy birthing to you.

Raising Good People

February 6, 2012 § 2 Comments

My biggest goal as a parent is to raise good people.  I want my kids to be empathetic towards others.  I get so discouraged by people who are so self-absorbed and wasteful.  Our planet needs people who care about one another and contributes to a greater good.  I watch the news and see young men and women throwing their lives away because of violence, drugs, and a complete disregard for other human beings.  It’s really heartbreaking.  Mia (my 5 year old) told me the other day she wants to be a subway performer and make money breakdancing.  She told me that she would use all the money to buy food and toys for kids that are homeless.  It made me so proud that I made a person that cares so deeply about others.  I don’t care if my kids are the smartest, richest, prettiest, or most successful people.  I really just want them to be good people.  I want them to have big beautiful hearts.  Leading by example is the most effective way to teach your children to be givers.  I work hard everyday to try to be the best person I can be.  Some days I fail but I keep trying.  No one is perfect but showing effort and compassion is a great place to start. Here’s to growing those big beautiful hearts!

My sweethearts

January 31, 2012 § 5 Comments

I have to admit that I was nervous to have two boys.  I know girls.  I had 4 that I lived with before these two new babies entered my life.  Dan was beyond thrilled to have two sons.  I have to admit I needed some time to get used to the idea.  I had girls names picked out already.  Finding names for boys posed to be quite a challenge.  Dan had final say this time around in the naming process.  Ultimately I just wanted healthy babies.  It should not matter what gender they are.  It just made me nervous.  I was entering unfamiliar grounds.  I must admit that I had to google changing a boys diaper.  I didn’t realize you had to point their equipment down when changing them.  I learned this the hard way after they soaked numerous onesies.  I almost felt like a first time mom in a sense.  I remember when they first entered the world the overwhelming joy I had just looking at their sweet faces.  My sons.  They were different from my last set of twins.  Different from all my other girl babies.  They were boys.  Birdie and Hazel, my first set of twins were a bit dramatic from the start.  I know they loved their momma but they definitely liked to complain quite a bit.  It took a lot of effort to calm them down and soothe them.  My boys had a calmer disposition right form the start.  They got boob and it cured all of their crying and fussing almost instantly.  Wow. I didn’t think it would be so easy.  I know they are only 6 months old but they have been really great babies.  I feel complete.  I never knew how much I would have missed if I didn’t have my boys. Yay for baby boys. xoxo

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